Catalyst: As Intended
by Fyuu
Summary: *Alternate Ending to Catalyst* The blue she saw was not the blue she longed for, cheery and dotted with puffy cotton clouds it was wrong, so very wrong. She yearned for the midnight of his eyes and the chiseled sharpness of his face, his voice so often quiet yet demanding, softening just for her just one last time... Drabble series. Kagome/Shinobu
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** This is an alternate ending to Catalyst, though it's not _required_ for you to have read it to understand this drabble series I would ask that you do give it a go and let me know what you think of it. For those of you who have read Catalyst then you'll have to disregard anything after chapter fifty one in order for this to make sense,this drabble series will follow the Anime/Manga for the most part.

And with that out of the way please enjoy!

* * *

Beside her, her mother wailed and her grandfather trembled in silence though his own grief was yet etched into his features a sight that would surely follow her in death. And Souta in a stroke of luck was nowhere to be found, his final memory of her would not be tarnished by her broken and bloody visage.

And Shinobu…

The blue she saw was not the blue she longed for, cheery and dotted with puffy cotton clouds it was wrong, so very wrong. She yearned for the midnight of his eyes and the chiseled sharpness of his face, his voice so often quiet yet demanding, softening just for her just one last time.

Regret twisted her from the inside, and now he would never know…

 _I love you._


	2. Chapter 2

The silence, the stillness, the utter lack of anything was a common theme when one entered the vaults, though these weren't the sort of vaults to house treasures or glories or anything remotely magnificent or magical. Indeed what they contained were the wretched, twisted, shriveled souls of those who refused to be chained down by the heavy hand of fate again. Held there until they'd withered to base emotion, losing themselves to insanity, they'd agreed to anything if only to stop the torturous solitude that would last beyond eternity.

All but one that is.

She sat still in a meditative position, thick chains looped about her tiny frail seeming form wrapping her up like a metal mummy, paper wards hung in various places meant to cut off her ability to call forth her powers.

 _As if I would…_

 _No not when I am so close._

… _Just a little longer kind death…_

 _Soon we'll embrace for one final time._


	3. Chapter 3

He hated this place with its chilling silence and monotonous colorings, through the thick bars of the cages he could see a variety of beings curled up and crying, some screaming though the noise wouldn't, couldn't, reach his ears. Some rocked themselves and those allowed to roam their cages did so as much as they could, pacing continuously back and forth, and back and forth mumbling incoherent ramblings to themselves.

But he cared little for them.

He stopped finally in front of one of the cages where a woman who unlike her imprisoned pseudo brethren sat still, legs folded neatly and hands resting on knees palm up looking utterly relaxed and unperturbed despite the heavy chains and paper wards encircling her. Long black hair tumbled gracefully in waves over her shoulders and down her back a stark contrast to her pale skin, like ink on parchment.

"Mother." The vaults powers didn't affect her like they did the other residence of the vault as she could see and hear beyond the bars.

A fact that few were privy to.

Brown earthy eyes opened staring coolly at him for a moment before a kind stormy blue bloomed and consumed the other color. Her still form slouched and became more animated as she made an attempt to lift one of her bound arms toward him, hand clenching when she found she couldn't reach him. "My little Shippo."


	4. Chapter 4

His own features softened as he returned her gesture dismayed to find he could no more reach her than she could him. "Mother." He said again letting hand fall away watching hers do the same.

She smiled then, with only the weight of centuries holding it back from being a truly happy one. "Shippo. It has been a while... it warms me to see you once more."

"I am sorry mother it is-"

"Do not apologize Shippo, you do what you can, I know that and I am eternally grateful for such." She flinched regretting her former words. "I did not mean to make you feel guilt."

 _Of course you didn't mother._

 _I don't think it's in you to do so._

 _But still…_

 _The fault lies with me…_


	5. Chapter 5

The kind eyes fade slightly as sparks of brown lit blue from around the edges of her iris, though not unkind held little warmth in them. "Shinobu Sensui will make his move soon."

He sighed at the abrupt subject change, Shippo hate this, hate that his beloved mother had some malignant sore cling to her soul, refusing to once more become wholly a part of it, it shifted her personality at a whim, overlaying it with another's. "Yes I know he has already started in fact, the others have been feeling it since the end of the tournament."

"Mmm… then now is the time, you need to convince the Spirit World prince that our- my presence will be needed in the inevitable upcoming battle, that my being there will be enough to turn the tides in the detectives favor. That this doesn't have to end as fate dictates." Her eyes soften once more to kindly blue as she sensed his discomfort and unwillingness to do as she asked. "Please… it is what I want Shippo… and not just what needs to be done. I promise"

He bowed his head in sorrow, heart clenching at what was to come. "Of course mother."


	6. Chapter 6

She could hear their footfalls and murmured voices as they made their way toward her cell, though she pretended not to. She wanted to grin to laugh to jump with joy anything to show her exuberance, force was a necessary thing when containing her elation. It would not do for them to know after all.

 _It's going to end soon..._

 _No more swimming in endless possibilities to keep me occupied._

 _No more loneliness..._

 _No more sacrifices…_

 _No more heart break…_

 _There will_ _be nothing…_

 _Only an end._

 _And never again will there be a beginning._


	7. Chapter 7

Koenma the prince of Spirit World stood stiffly in front of her prison for several moments before making a hasty gesture to one of the ogres standing near him, with uncertain movements he set about unlock her cage. He didn't speak until the door was open, which was practical seeing as she shouldn't have been able to see or hear beyond her prison.

"Higurashi Kagome your presence in the Human World is needed."

She opened her eyes with deliberate slowness, allowing the small part of her that was still Kikyou to push its way to the surface. "Is it now?" She queried coolly.

"Everything will be explained on the way, come along."


	8. Chapter 8

It was surreal feeling, staring down at the body that was an exact replica of her own when she had been living; its realism was almost disturbing. The lack of movement, the lack of breath made her shudder uncomfortably, and the dull dead eyes that seemed to follow her every move did nothing to alleviate the ill at ease feeling she had. "This will be your faux body; it will act just as flesh and blood would, perhaps even a smidge better. However… " The male ogre explaining how the earth and clay construct would work turned to her with a serious look. "If this body dies it will leave your soul vulnerable for an attack, if the body is destroyed you need to get out of there pronto or you soul could die."

"Higurashi." The spirit prince drew her attention with his grave tone. "That doesn't mean you will be brought back to spirit world to await reincarnation, it means your soul will cease to exist."

"I know."

 _I'm counting on it…_


	9. Chapter 9

"Come along, hurry up now!" Her companion urged from up ahead. It was hard to believe that the woman who was supposed to be a physical embodiment of death could be so… cheerful even in her worry.

She was strange…

But Kagome wasn't one to judge, after all she was a dead woman in a clay body.

 _What irony._

She heaved a sigh as she began to feel the repercussions the sprint up the stairs was stirring up.

 _Physical body means physical limitations._

The two finally stopped their run at a door that would lead to the roof of the school they had just raced through. Botan, the blue haired spirit guide slammed the door open with more force than necessary, starling the two others on the roof with her abrupt entrance. "Yusuke it's terrible!"

"What's with the face Botan?" Was the rather blasé response.

 _My, the current detective seems a little unconcerned, despite current events, doesn't he?_

"There's only one week left before the tunnel between worlds fully opens!"

 _Ah… that caught his interest._


	10. Chapter 10

She watched the punk with gelled hair storm out of the apartment with mild amusement. He and the elder psychic had argued over the red head male and his apparent lack of spiritual energy.

 _If this is the best Koenma could come up with…_

She sighed.

 _If I didn't know better I'd think the reason Yusuke was selected to be a detective would be his opposing personality when compared to Shinobu._

 _But…_

 _I do know better and the Gods do nothing without reason._

The slamming door had her wincing.

 _Well regardless he certainly is… different…_

She ignored the others as they talked amongst themselves for a while longer, before long however their curiosity pertaining to her presence quickly won out over their worry for their friend.

"So… who are you exactly?"

She opened her eyes offering them a slight smile. "Higurashi Kagome."


	11. Chapter 11

_Higurashi Kagome…_

The name rang like alarm bells in her head as she sipped her tea making no outward indication of her inward musings.

 _Higurashi…_

 _As in…_

"As in the Higurashi Shrine?" Kaito piped up giving partial voice to Genkai's own thoughts.

And then a curious thing happened, stormy eye swirled with an earthly brown, like a clash of the two aspects, sky and earth fighting for dominance before settling on a balance. Her features which had been open and friendly, seeping with warmth an unbecoming thing for a warrior, turned cold.

"What is it to you?"

"Geeze what's with the freaky eyes?" Yana, the mellower of the two psychics murmured.


	12. Chapter 12

Genkai watched as the woman child heaved a deep sigh and shook her head blinking her eyes several times before they turned completely blue once more.

"Forgive me. When I was still alive my soul was torn asunder, and when death truly claimed me at last that piece was returned to me, only it resists merging fully with me."

"So what you got a split personality or something?" Yana's brow raised in minor interest.

"In overly simplistic terms? Yes."

"You're dead? You don't look dead, or transparent as a ghost might be." Kaito the more serious, and studious of the two young teens pointed out.

"Have you seen many ghosts? Of course you haven't." Genkai snorted. "A ghost can take a more physical form if they can draw enough spiritual energy. Though that's certainly not what you've done."

"It's not." Kagome agreed.

"So why are you here then? Your grandfather told me of your passing, nearly ten years ago."

Blue eyes opened in surprise. "You know my grandfather?"

"Your grandfather wasn't always the powerless old coot he is now. Once he was a very renowned psychic."


	13. Chapter 13

"But you did not answer my question." Genkai pointed out to her.

Kagome hesitated to answer for several moments. "Koenma has brought me here in hopes that my presence will… emotionally unbalance your enemy enough to give the current detectives a more fair chance."

Honey brown eyes narrowed over her cup. "You speak of him as though you know him on a more personal level."

"I did a very long time ago…" She felt sadness swell through her at the thought of the one she had at one point loved.

"Ten years isn't that long." The male with glasses pointed out.

"True." Kagome's lips lifted in a rueful sort of grin. "But I can hardly comprehend geometry, don't expect me to be able to explain the complexities of time travel and pocket dimensions. For every year that has passed since my death I've been in solitude for ninety-nine more."

"In solitude where?" Kaito inquired obviously fascinated.

Her lips pursed as she thought of the bird cage like structures dangling over an abyss, a failsafe in the off chance the prisoner managed to untangle themselves from their personal nightmares and fight back, the cage could be dropped and the one ensnared would be lost to whatever laid within the chasm. "It is simply known as the vault."


	14. Chapter 14

Genkai's mind reeled with the sudden information.

 _The vaults…_

 _Then she is…_

 _An un-fated…_

 _A dangerous enemy?_

 _Or a powerful ally?_

"Why struggle against being bound once more, why not go to your death gracefully, why go down fighting?" She questioned finally, interrupting Kaito as he sought whatever information he could garner from the young woman.

Blue eyes filled with brown instantly and did not revert back this time. "My reasons are my own, and I'll ask you not to question them."

"I'll question them all I like when considering your mere presence could damn well alter anything and everything."

"My reasons have no bearing on your mission, of that I can assure you. I simply have no more patience to play the games the Gods wish to engage in."


	15. Chapter 15

He continued to listen to the arguing occupants of his team mates abode, just as he had been since said team mate had stormed from the apartment presumably to follow Kuwabara and keep him safe from harm in his spiritually befuddled state.

 _An un-fated..._

 _How… interesting…_

 _However master Genkai is right to question her motives._

 _But this begs the question…_

 _What precisely is Koenma striving to change by bring her here?_

The avatar was far from stupid, he knew that an un-fated only begets more un-fated, more people who made their own decisions outside of the Gods will.

 _And if I know that…_

 _Then certainly Koenma must as well._

Emerald eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he pushed himself from the wall and into the apartment which was super charged with warring energies.


	16. Chapter 16

_She's stubborn._

Kurama thought amusedly as he continued to stare at the woman child's back as she leaned over Kuwabara tending to the numerous injuries he had sustained in his fight with one of their enemies men. Not far away said male was also being treated and Yusuke yelled at for not protecting the other red headed male. The woman…

 _Kagome._

He corrected himself with a weary grin lifting his lips slightly as he admitted, if only to himself that he admired her tenacity to avoid or outright ignore their questions.

 _She is a priestess no doubt about that._

 _But our enemies are human._

 _Humans who are so sure of their intent, so sure that they are in the right that it is a possibly that their actions will not taint them._

 _What use is she to us then?_

 _Or is it as she said?_

 _Does Koenma hope her presence will weaken something in_ him _?_

 _Or perhaps… Strengthen something in us?_

 _Mayhap a better question would be does the change Koenma intends to wreak benefit to us... or Sensui?_

 _For whose side do you play, Koenma?_


	17. Chapter 17

Back once more resting against the wall she listen to the child God spew his lies as if all that was occurring hadn't been predetermined and could not decide whether to laugh or rage.

 _He is terribly powerful spiritually and that mixed with his demonic bloodline…_

 _No matter how deluded…_

 _Yusuke has the potential to become a true God killer._

She studied the rash detective that reminded her strongly of InuYasah with his foul mouth and even fouler temper.

 _And if it came down to it…_

 _He would do it…_

 _Of that I have no doubt._

"…What Sensui saw was exactly contrary to his convictions. A scene where humans delighted in torturing demons." In the end as Koenma calmly spoke his falsehoods it was rage that won.


	18. Chapter 18

Kurama had watched her out of his peripherals as her spiritual energies had begun to rise and lash out, though strangely not painfully, they swept around him and most of the other occupants focusing on the teenage looking God who did little more than shift nervously.

And then she stood, her eyes no longer brown but a steely blue and swirling with uninhibited rage as they locked with the young God and all went still as she stalked toward Koenma… and then straight past him slamming the door as she made her exit.

Silence rang for some time before he himself stood to follow. "I will attend to the priestess." A quick nod from Koenma and he was out the door.

He found her quickly, it hadn't been hard, she hadn't gotten very far.

Hadn't really tried to either.


	19. Chapter 19

She wasn't stupid she knew why the fox avatar had been the one to follow her, and knew it wasn't out of kindness, she was after all well acquainted with his kind.

"Do not try me fox, I am not one of your puzzles to be solved and tossed away. I am human and while it may not mean much to you it is everything to me."

She could feel his eyes practically drilling into her back as they stood in silence for several long moments. "I shall not lie to you then, indeed it was curiosity that drove me to follow you. Tell me which of Koenma's words upset you?"

She turned to him slowly then staring up into his stony green gaze. "Do not think for a second that Koenma is your friend, he is a God first and foremost , no better than his father, toying with human lives like a child setting fire to ants, the Gods you should well know do nothing without reason. Do you think that if it didn't suit is own desires that he would have bothered to offer my services?" His eyes narrowed and she wondered if he truly understood her insinuations. That all this was predetermined, and that only now was Koenma having second thoughts about going through as intended.

Whether or not he did however was hardly her concern as she made an about-face and began walking away.

"What are you doing?" He called out as she began distancing herself from him.

"Do not worry for what I intend shall have no bearing on your mission."

Again momentary silence… and then acceptance. "What then shall I tell Koenma?"

"Tell him I will do as he wished, I'll seek out Shinobu."

And with that she left.


	20. Chapter 20

She reveled in the feeling of the wind tousling her hair and the scents it brought with it taking a moment to appreciate the simple things life had to offer. Such pleasures would after all be utterly inaccessible to her after tonight.

 _Assuming all goes as planned._

Kagome's lips pulled into a scowl as the unbidden voice cut through her thoughts.

 _I thought we agreed, Kikyou, that I would be the one in charge._

 _I have not disputed this, however I still question this plan of yours._

 _Have you a better one?_

The silence that answered her was welcoming, sharing a mind space with a woman who resented her and the happiness she had, had in life often made it difficult for a moment's peace to be had for either of them. Of course it could be said that the others presence had kept the other sane while in solitude, not that either would admit to such.

 _I… don't want to die again._

Kagome smiled sadly at the other woman's quietly spoken admission.

 _Just one last time I promise._

 _Then let us end this. Once and for all._

 _In that we can agree._

As Kikyou settled to become once more a silent specter Kagome allowed her power to flare up around her the pink energy crackling about illuminating her surroundings and no doubt alerting Sensui and his followers to her presence. Feet lightly smacking the dirt she made her decent into what would hopefully end in her demise.


	21. Chapter 21

A swell of familiar energy stung at the edges of his senses rousing a part of him that was often silent, from his spot lounging on a couch watching and re-watching the Chapter Black tape he met Itsuki's widening gaze.

"It seems we have a guest." His amused words had the others stirring from their respective positions scattered about the cave.

"And what would you like us to do with this _guest_." Kaname questioned.

Eyes closed in silent consideration he was astound to find all of himself in agreement. "We be hospitable hosts of course, she has after all traversed quiet a distance to seek us out."


	22. Chapter 22

The woman who entered was not what Kaname expected, she was young, younger even then himself though not as young as the Gamemaster who was the youngest among them.

 _And yet despite her age…_

 _She feels much older…_

 _Almost…_

 _Ancient._

He watched her utterly ignore the rest of them as she moved toward Sensui stride purposeful. "Sensui." She had a gentle voice, and gentler eyes as she called for the seated male who in turn tilted his head back far enough to lock eyes with her.

"I must say I'm surprised that you're here. Come to join us?"

"Hardly… I've come to inquire about a favor."


	23. Chapter 23

"Oh, a favor you say?" He queried, his brows shooting up in surprise. "You traversed death for so trivial a thing?"

"How often is anything I'm involved with ever simple?"

"Too true." A momentary silence as he waited for her to divulge further, when nothing more was said he probed a bit more. "I may be a psychic but I am hardly a mind reader."

Her eyes narrowed in thought. "I wish to speak to you privately."

Once more he found that all of him was in agreement. "Itsuki stays."

"That is acceptable."


	24. Chapter 24

"Are you sure it is wise for us to leave you with this woman?" Gourmet was eyeing her like she was the last edible on earth, and part of Sensui mused himself on the thought of what would happen should he devour the priestess, nothing pleasant for the man he suspected.

"She could have been sent here by Koenma." Kaname pointed out in vague interest.

"Maybe she's some sorta super secret weapon!" Gamemaster enthused as he shifted from foot to foot excited at the prospect of a new challenger.

He let out a small chuckled from his lax position on the couch. "Of course Koenma sent her, the dead don't regularly get up and walk about. But none of this is your concern, for I do believe I told you all to leave." There was an edge to his voice that brooked no argument and they knew it as they made to do as bade. When the last of them had left Sensui stood made his way to the prone woman. "Now then I have done as requested, speak of this favor."

"No."

"No?"

"I'll not speak with you Sensui."

"Then who would you speak with."

"Shinobu."


	25. Chapter 25

"I _am_ Shinobu."

"No, you are a fragment of a once magnificent whole, splintered in order to protect him from what he had been forced to witness, as determined by the Gods." Her grey eyes met his coolly amused cobalt gaze and did not falter. "I would speak with Shinobu."

"Speak He can hear you."

Her lips tugged down as he continued to evade. "Regardless it is Shinobu I require."

"My patients wanes make your request Kagome, then we'll decide what will and will not be done."

She studied his face and aura respectively and knew she would get nowhere, nowhere except perhaps dead… but not completely not the way she needed. Oh the faux body would be destroyed and her soul would be vulnerable and maybe he would eviscerate that as well but this part of Shinobu did not have the power to dispose of the other aspect of her soul that other facet.

The Shikon no Tama.

 _If Sensui got a hold of the jewel…_

Her eyes roved to the tear between worlds and she shuddered.

And so with a great heave she gathered herself tiredly. "I need Shinobu to kill me."


	26. Chapter 26

There was a beat of silence as he let her word sink in. "You have come to us seeking death?"

"I have."

"Then why reanimate in the first place? Correct me if I am wrong but that seems rather counterproductive to your end game."

"That is because you can't see the entire board."

"Mmm." He continued to stare at her as that long hidden part of him cried out in despair, her death had broken him all those years ago and now she wanted him to not only relive that trauma but actively participate, . "For what reason would I do that?"

"You wouldn't Shinobu would."

" Kagome."

With a huff she responded. "I tire of this cycle of reincarnation, I want- no I need it to end."

"Why Shinobu? I could just as easily end it all for you."


	27. Chapter 27

She scrambled to provide him with an answer that would satisfy him without giving away anything too important, anything that might sway him to simply dispose of her and keep the Jewel. She latched on to the first thing too come to mind.

"He will be kind."

A sudden look of hurt passed over his eyes before, to hide his reaction, a vicious smile twisted his lips upward as he stepped closer to her and she stepped back in surprise. "You think I will be unkind? We may be splintered, and perhaps each of us is a personification of a particular aspect, but there is no part of me that would be so _unkind_ as you've put it. Not to you. Never to you." He stopped moving when she found she no longer could, just short of being over bearing as his much larger form held her gaze, his voice drifting to a whisper as he stopped talking.

She found she wanted to believe his words, wanted to believe he would do as she asked. And so despite her own splintered mind raging against her decision she decided to trust him. "It must be Shinobu because he is the only one powerful enough to destroy the Shikon no Tama." Her voice equally as quiet as the one he had used.

He froze, and she found she could do little more than pray that her trust hadn't been misplaced.


	28. Chapter 28

_The Shikon no Tama._

 _The Jewel of Four Souls._

 _That deplorable wish granting bauble._

There had been the briefest of moments were Sensui had desired to take the petty bauble from his once friend, what then could Koenma's pet accomplish? It was squashed quickly as he recalled all the sorrow Kagome had had to endure, even after her first death the hundreds of years of solidarity, incomprehensible pain and anguish as she awaited deaths final embrace. Could he stomp over her suffering for his own gain? Never mind that he'd assuredly have to fight her and kill her to obtain it, but was that not what she wanted, would not such a release be welcome?

He shook he head as her unease at his extended silence become nearly tangible. "What would your death accomplish?" His voice was quiet and hoarse even to his own ears.

"It's not the death of my body I seek Sensui…" She trailed off no longer able to look him in the eye and for several moments she was completely silent while attempting to rally her thoughts. At last blue eyes turned to him beseechingly. "What I need- no what I want you to destroy is my soul."

The hiss of air between his teeth was the only sound he made in response.


	29. Chapter 29

"Your soul..?"

After the prolonged silence his voice nearly startled her into jumping. "Yes the jewel has once more become another facet of my soul destroy it and the jewel too will be destroyed."

"Why must it be me who does it? Surely your feudal era allies are more than capable of such an endeavor."

"Strength alone is not what I require. As I am, anyone one of them could assuredly dispose of my faux body and maybe some of them could potentially destroy my soul, but of my friends that yet remain all of them are demons and as such, and there is not a doubt in my mind that this would occur, their heritage would rouse the darker half of the jewel. Similarly had any holy persons remained they would be a poor choice for much the same reason only they would awaken the part that is purely light." He watched her with rapid attention and while she could read nary an emotion from his stoic features, she could feel the emotions his aura exuded, they were heavy laden with pain and sorrow she regretted to have made him felt. After moment as she could do little else she pressed on. "Spiritual energy such as the sort you have is neither inherently good or evil. It is a neutral balance that will force the jewel to employ defenses that will coax the entirety of the jewel into cooperative action allowing for both halves to simultaneously be destroyed. And it must be you because I know of none stronger."

Seeing his resolve crumble she pressed her advantage inflecting her voice with every ounce of emotion she could muster. "And beyond all that... I _know_ you… and once I loved you. I trust you now as I trusted you then you will not take the jewel for personal gain of that I am certain."

At last with a long suffering sigh Sensui squared his shoulders resolve clear in every fiber of his being.

"I will do as you ask. It will be done."


	30. Chapter 30

Sensui had stood tall and proud as if he could never be wrong and every word that fell from his lips had sounded regal and self assured, he was persuasive and she found herself able to understand how all of these people had fallen at his feet looking to him to lead them, every ounce of him exuded confidence in a way that Shinobu didn't. It was subtle but undoubtedly there.

But Shinobu…

Shinobu was softer, almost kinder, he stood tall but there was nothing about him that said he was proud no confidence to back the statements his other selves adhered to, just an unbreakable drive to see it through. His emotion played along his feature in a way they hadn't when they were younger, sorrow was the most obvious, sorrow for all that had been lost and all that remained to be lost regardless of whether his plan succeeded or not. Fear and trepidation for what he was about to do. And finally longing that she knew was reflected in her, longing for what could have been, the life they could have shared together… a longing for death a final comforting embrace.

Seeing him as he truly was, a man so broken, she felt herself, her resolve begin to fracture.

She hadn't even realized she was crying until his hand came to rest on her cheek his thumb wiping the sorrow as it feel from her eyes.

"I'm so scared Shinobu."


End file.
